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Amenemhab speaks
11-16-2017, 01:01 AM (This post was last modified: 11-16-2017 02:20 AM by Amememhab.)
Post: #21
RE: Amenemhab speaks
(11-15-2017 12:28 AM)Blunderbuss Wrote:  Good diets can do miraculous things . Hope all goes well for you both!

(11-15-2017 01:51 AM)Difflugia Wrote:  I'd miss reading your posts. The only problem I have with them is that it's sometimes too difficult to find things I disagree with. I can't do anything more than commiserate, but capitalism pisses me off.

(11-14-2017 04:25 PM)muhammad_isa Wrote:  I've had arthritis for around 30 years .. it's a battle to get up in the morning these days...The winter months are trying indeed.

Ja. Life, a battle against getting old, is a wicked raccoon eating from our garbage bins with his smart little paws lifting the lid. And now descendeth the cruel winter of the Northern Hemisphere, to bring to Utah its two-foot snowfalls, its – 10°F, its 15-hour night. I envy the Herminator in Holland, where it merely rains in a chill! But it could freeze up there, too, as Herm sits near 52° north latitude, some 620 miles closer to the pole than I am, with a longer period each night when his patch of Utrecht ground on Earth mounts the merry-go-round turned away from the sun. And we have sun in Utah winters, even if wan in a frigid blue sky, while I bet Amsterdam has lots and lots of gray day beneath a sour cloud deck.

I so wish God showers his blessings upon you, @Muhammad isa, as you age. Great God: All the time, God is good; God is good all the time, having always loved us his sons, always ready to love us again after we sin. For “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Go with love in your heart, for what I mouth the word “God” and you utter “Allah,” is a one supreme being, Creator of this Cosmos. Yet even his heart pines at the human plight. He loves you and me, always has, always will.

I took the Winchester Model 94 from its lockbox, loaded one 150 grain .30-.30 cartridge into its magazine, cycled it into the chamber with the lever, cocked the rifle, set the butt of its stock on my carpet, pressed the muzzle against my forehead as I sat on my bed, and placed my index finger on its trigger, to contemplate detonating 1860 foot-pounds through my skull at 2100 feet per second, the bullet no doubt continuing through the ceiling drywall into my attic as my brain cracked like a cantaloupe downed to pavement from a hotel balcony. But tiny Amememhab chickened out. Death: He is awesome to confront! So, I didn’t do it, and probably never will.

I hope you don’t die, Isa, but live forever and ever in the Peace of God. Let us live, our hands upon each other’s shoulders, in the gardens and parks of God’s eternal City.

@Blunderbuss; The good God, the Lord of one and all, indeed smiles toward us in his mercy, a twinkle of Angel Clarence in his eyes.

As for @Difflugia? Ever a Mississippi’s alluvial fan into the Gulf of Mexico, of pithy sediments of wisdom...
~ Big Grin

Tonight’s evening music, at the time Amenemhat I woke to knived and cudgeled assailants in his palace bedroom (Instruction of Amenemhat, a litany, circa 1900 BCE). Shortly after his assassination, Senwosret I took the throne of Egypt’s Middle Kingdom to continue the powerful 12th Dynasty.

Capitalism, for all its greed and gluttony, has produced an abundance in America, due to its strong work ethic, perhaps its only redeeming feature. But you’re correct: The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Robert A. Heinlein wrote in 1966, about a future day when a lunar colony of ours would rebel against its mother planet. Ja. Vacuum, hot and cold out there. Best make sure your suit’s zipped up tight before you crack the airlock open and let the air out into the moon’s black sky.
~ Angel

“Mexican Radio”
Wall of Voodoo, 1983
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11-16-2017, 08:09 AM (This post was last modified: 11-16-2017 08:13 AM by muhammad_isa.)
Post: #22
RE: Amenemhab speaks
(11-16-2017 01:01 AM)Amememhab Wrote:  Death: He is awesome to confront! So, I didn’t do it, and probably never will.

Mmm .. we shouldn't listen to the devil .. he might not have any hope, but we do Smile
It is so much more gracious to die of a natural death (or when God wills) .. it's getting closer .. have no fear .. Almighty God is Wise and Most Merciful.

(11-16-2017 01:01 AM)Amememhab Wrote:  I hope you don’t die, Isa, but live forever and ever in the Peace of God. Let us live, our hands upon each other’s shoulders, in the gardens and parks of God’s eternal City.
Amen

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.
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11-17-2017, 12:00 PM (This post was last modified: 11-18-2017 03:18 AM by Amememhab.)
Post: #23
Exclamation RE: Amenemhab speaks
(11-16-2017 08:09 AM)muhammad_isa Wrote:  ...We shouldn't listen to the devil ... He might not have any hope, but we do...

I can’t continue. I wanna die. Just this nine o’clock I made the decision...

(**EDIT - deleted suicide plan as inappropriate content for this forum.)

I’m sorry. I cannot continue. I cannot quit sobbing with self-pity in my room, as the hard rain of this November 17 morning segues into a swirl of white flakes from a platinum-gray sky, the first Utah snow; the trees their leaves dropped and bare branches skyward, await the onrush of Winter. Winter and Summer, Night and Day, our spinning blue globe; I’m now so weary of the cycle. Jesus, please forgive me for what I deign to do; don’t tell the angel to push me into the lake of fire, where Death, Hades, the Dragon, the Beast, and the False Prophet have perished, after the third part of the stars fell fighting a great war in heaven. Our Lord God and savior is gonna win.

Thank you so much for your sweet post, Muhammad Isa. Like the hobbit Frodo, his every step dogged by a skulking Gollum, I climb the evil stair into Mordor, its busy orcs on the prowl hunting for me, I hoping to drop the ring of which I’m burdened into the lava fenestra of Mount Doom.

“When the world is running down,” Death’s demon Entropy, gallops on his battle horse toward us just over our shoulders, unstoppable, the dark of the long night before the day of our Lord upon us. May Allah shower his mercy upon you.
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11-17-2017, 01:27 PM
Post: #24
RE: Amenemhab speaks
(11-17-2017 12:00 PM)Amememhab Wrote:  I can’t continue. I wanna die.
...

I understand .. May Almighty God have mercy on us. When the time comes, it will happen .. try to have patience .. I know it's hard .. I hope you feel better in a few days

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.
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11-17-2017, 07:34 PM
Post: #25
RE: Amenemhab speaks
(11-17-2017 01:27 PM)muhammad_isa Wrote:  When the time comes, it will happen.

And doth Clock run me into the soil, Isa, all 1.67 billion seconds I’ve sucked air on God’s green Earth. It’s all darkness before me; I stare into the Void, the purple of a night that will never end. I dunno. I feel so small, so useless now.
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11-18-2017, 01:29 AM
Post: #26
RE: Amenemhab speaks
Amem I am truly sorry you are in so much pain. I don't want to make any presumptions, you seem to be in both physical and mental anguish. As Isa said, I hope the next few days bring you some sort of relief. I have listened to my son say many of the same things over the past several years. I don't pretend to have any answers for you - I just understand how you could be at such a point.

My thoughts are with you.
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11-18-2017, 12:05 PM (This post was last modified: 11-18-2017 12:06 PM by Amememhab.)
Post: #27
RE: Amenemhab speaks
(11-18-2017 01:29 AM)Visqueen Wrote:  Amem I am truly sorry you are in so much pain. ...My thoughts are with you.

Thanks, Visqueen. I’ll try to avoid playing for sympathy too often, as I’m not the sole human being suffering in this world—nearly all people will endure hard times during this life. I chose to strike the suicidal plan I’d had in my post, as I think it goes a bit the spirit of a public forum. Many suicide forums won’t allow discussion of suicide methods, plans or pacts.
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