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Blasphemous "How-To" Book
08-25-2009, 03:00 AM
Post: #1
Blasphemous "How-To" Book
A recently published book has come to my attention and I feel it is necessary to warn my fellow Christians about literature's newest strike against religion. The author purports to make religion into a hobby that anyone can do, and goes as far as to insinuate using scrap materials out of one's garage to build pagan idols for worship! These people sit around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and doing lord knows what else, they put some words on paper and think they're good enough to be the lord himself! What's worse, the misguided and ignorant masses blind to the guiding light of god are buying into this filth! This book not only insults Christianity, but the very concept of religion itself!

This is why we shouldn't teach public school children to read and write; the liberal public school system indoctrinates them into a hollywood-controlled and godless society by strictly enforcing atheism on them, and then our tax dollars teach these pitiful brainwashed kids how to commit travesties like this! If we could only limit the teaching of literacy to good, law-abiding, religious, private school children then things like this wouldn't happen.

Here's a link in case anyone doesn't believe me:
http://www.amazon.com/Build-Your-Garage-...540&sr=8-1

And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
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08-25-2009, 09:46 AM
Post: #2
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
Sounds like a pretty funny idea for a book. I might have to check it out. Others might be interested as well., especially all those atheist school teachers we hear so much about. I'll bring it up at the next atheist meeting, right after the child sacrifice.

(08-25-2009 03:00 AM)TwentyOneSix Wrote:  This is why we shouldn't teach public school children to read and write...

Yes. Great idea. If thine eye offend thee, pluck out thy neighbors eye.

I think Jesus said that, didn't he?

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08-25-2009, 12:41 PM
Post: #3
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
(08-25-2009 09:46 AM)MerryAtheist Wrote:  I'll bring it up at the next atheist meeting, right after the child sacrifice.

You orthodox atheists are lucky. We're reformed. We only get to sacrifice puppies.

But more seriously, check out the link to the book, repeated here for convenience:
http://www.amazon.com/Build-Your-Garage-...540&sr=8-1

It seems to be fairly amusing in a tongue-in-cheek "is he really serious" way, like maybe an original cast SNL skit. But I suspect a whole book of it could get old pretty quickly.
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08-25-2009, 02:08 PM
Post: #4
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
I need this book. I've always wanted to start a cult.

And we shall worship David Bowie. And all shall be good.

And Merry - I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic. I mean, the "illiteracy in public schools" bit is a little much. Although "Rule of Poe" can legitimately be called.

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08-25-2009, 03:56 PM (This post was last modified: 08-25-2009 03:59 PM by MerryAtheist.)
Post: #5
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
(08-25-2009 02:08 PM)GTseng3 Wrote:  And Merry - I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic. I mean, the "illiteracy in public schools" bit is a little much. Although "Rule of Poe" can legitimately be called.

You know, I thought it might be sarcasm at first, but after a second read I got the distinct impression that the post was serious.

If I have been duped, then I bow to the brilliance of TwentyOneSix... your sense of satire is light years beyond me.

Either that, or Rule of Poe, indeed.
Oh! And Parousia, I would never sacrifice a puppy, you heretic!

Cats. Only cats.

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08-25-2009, 04:12 PM
Post: #6
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
Yeah, I'm calling Rule of Poe on this one.

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08-25-2009, 08:30 PM
Post: #7
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
i assure you that my beliefs are no joke; anyone who can't be bothered to read the good book has no place reading at all. I would advise all of you to not buy this book, evil should not be tolerated just because you find it somehow "amusing", you'd accomplish the same by donating money to a satanist church. The "creativity" of secularists is often little more than a promotion of evil. You wouldn't hand a can of gas and a book of matches to an arsonist, so why would you teach a god hater how to read and write?

And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
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08-25-2009, 08:32 PM
Post: #8
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
New member, this is your second post . . . you're the author, aren't you? Or a friend of the author? Man, this is a great marketing campaign.

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08-25-2009, 08:37 PM
Post: #9
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
(08-25-2009 08:32 PM)GTseng3 Wrote:  New member, this is your second post . . . you're the author, aren't you? Or a friend of the author? Man, this is a great marketing campaign.


Very astute, very astute indeed. To deny it now would accomplish little, it's been made known here and my false identity has been weakened. Perhaps I should have made more of a name for myself before trying this, but I guess in the end I'm just a little impatient.

Congratulations on being the first to figure me out, you're a clever one.

And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
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08-25-2009, 08:54 PM
Post: #10
RE: Blasphemous "How-To" Book
Eh, your fault for posting on a religion forum that has atheists who actually think for themselves occasionally Smile

Still, the book looks awesome. I may pick myself up a copy.

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