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Everything life has taught me
06-13-2017, 09:27 PM
Post: #1
Everything life has taught me
Dunno why, but, tonight, i feel that, for the first time
in the 30 years i've lived, my thoughts are not scattered.
So, it'd be a shame if, now that my thoughts are collected,
i never share it with anyone. No need to answer this
thread. After i'm done typing it, i might kill myself, or, at
the very least, leave all forums for a very long time. Here
is what the three hellish decades of my existence taught me:

1. Nobody cares about me. In the best case, if someone
hears my story, he'll be like ''too bad'', then move on with
his life. Only my parents might be sad at the extent of
becoming non functional (not sure though) if they knew
how miserable i am, but they would do that because they're
my parents, because of their parental instict. If i was not
their son, i'd be the exact same person as i am now, yet,
because i wouldn't be their son, they wouldn't give a dime
about me. That's why i hate my parents too, exactly as
much as i hate everyone else.

2. Negaholism is a thing. It's when you're addicted to misery.
You don't like it, but you want it, because you're addicted
to it. You don't want to be helped by anyone. Not even
God can help you, because he does not help those who
don't want to be helped, but, if you have negaholism, you
cannot want to be helped. Alas, there are some situations
not even the supposed omnipotent God can change. I'm a
negaholic. I was unlucky to fall for this trap, but, since i did,
there is nothing that can be done about me. I never had
any social life, i never kissed a girl, i never had sex, i never
enjoyed anything, i cannot recall a moment of happiness
from this curse my life is. I wasn't able to complete a college
education and, as my mom reminds me often, my future is
to become a homeless man.

3. There is no such thing as free will. Scientific research has
shown that we are what the conditions we're born under turn
us into. Of course, psychologists will never admit that to their
patients; they have to give them some false hope, otherwise
they'd have to admit their profession is useless and they'd lose
their profits. Likewise, the conditions of my life turned me into
this: A negaholic whose future is misery, homelessness and an
afterlife hell.

4. I hate God. Not just for what he has done to me. I have
read stories about unlucky creatures like Aisha Ibrahim
Duhulow, Natasha Kampush, Elizabeth Fritzl, Debbie Dreschler
and others i don't remember right now. What kind of God would
allow his creations to undergo stuff like that?

5. Everybody deserves Hell. I read it in a christian magazine a
few weeks ago. This took away from me the last spark i had
started developping by starting attending church (which is
where i found that magazine). No matter how good i become,
no matter how hard i try, i'll always be a rag in God's eyes. Of
course, God decided to dribble his own law and give us a chance
to be saved anyway. But, myself, i think i'll suffer more if i spend
an eternity in heaven knowing that i don't deserve being there,
that God sees me as a rag no matter how much he loves me
anyway. That's why i prefer going to Hell. That's what i've been
praying for during the last weeks. On the one hand, i hate God, for
reasons i stated above, on the other hand, i want to receive
the punishment i deserve according to his law, even if that
punishment is burning in some lake of magic fire.
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06-14-2017, 08:54 AM
Post: #2
RE: Everything life has taught me
This is your blog thread now, ididnot.
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06-14-2017, 09:31 AM (This post was last modified: 06-14-2017 09:33 AM by PeterPants.)
Post: #3
RE: Everything life has taught me
Ah, im glad this came out of the Christianity section.

Ididnotreadtherules, why on earth do you believe in the Christian god?

Ididn...etc Wrote:Nobody cares about me

I do, really and honestly.


The one thing i have to say to the gist of what you've said, is that all the evidence points towards the notion that everyone can completely change their attitude towards life by actively training it, its just like working out your body, if you think miserable thoughts all the time you basically strengthen that part of your brain and train it to do it more. Im not saying 'stop being sad' Tongue im saying you can exercise your brain to be more happy, and then you will feel different about life.

Attitude really is the lens we see our life through, depression has many causes, i really have a huge amount of experience in this area, however pathetic that may sound :S.

Things like a really simple form of 'loving kindness meditation' are super useful for improving happiness and attitude. just little exercises. id be happy to describe some if your interested at all.

~~~

when we enter a discussion on matters of discordance, we should search for truth not victory, In this manner we always win, there are no losers.
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