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How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
09-22-2007, 12:03 AM
Post: #1
How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Charismatic: Only one—hands already in the air.

Roman Catholics: None—they use candles.

Pentecostals: Ten—one to change the bulb, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None—God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians: Eight—one to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Mormons: Five—one man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Baptists: At least 15—one to change the light bulb, and two or three committees to approve the change. Oh, and also one to provide a casserole.

Lutherans: None—Lutherans don't believe in change.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
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09-22-2007, 09:46 AM
Post: #2
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
lol, are you going to post many jokes? I like them.
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09-22-2007, 10:58 AM
Post: #3
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Yup! I love jokes. And just so everyone knows, I never mean to offend by any joke, and if I do, then I'm an equal opportunity offender because I'll poke fun at everyone including myself. I believe it's good to be able to laugh at yourself.

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05-12-2008, 02:54 AM
Post: #4
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
lol Big Grin
We need more of this

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
-Buddha
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05-12-2008, 10:58 AM
Post: #5
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Atheist: none, dont agree with churches. Unless you call the sun a light globe, then you would have to ask for help.
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11-14-2008, 09:24 PM
Post: #6
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
That is super funny!!!

We walk by faith, not by sight.
--2 Corinthians v. 7.
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11-16-2008, 09:16 AM
Post: #7
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
... I knew the baptists would be committee oriented, with a potluck to boot!! LOL

By the way ... three months later, we still don't have the stinkin bulb changed! But that's okay ... the change of officers and committees happens next month, so maybe the new blood can get it done!! LOL

Justice -- When you get what you deserve.
Mercy -- When you don't get what you deserve.
Grace -- When you get what you don't deserve.
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07-03-2009, 04:25 AM
Post: #8
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
I have a funny story about candles in a Catholic Church. It was the Easter Vigil when I was getting First Communion and Confirmation. It was also the first Easter Vigil in a brand new church. Well anyways, we don't know where to put our candles when we extinguish them, so our priest says, "Put them in the little candle holders in your pews." I looked down and what I saw were not candle holders; they were the Protestant grape juice cup holders. I mean, we have candles in a brand new church that has Protestant cup holders. Am I right? Am I right? Man, I am so funny.
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10-24-2009, 09:06 PM
Post: #9
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
What are you talking about it would take the entire body of Christ, just to flip the D light switch!

"Hidden underneath the stoned cold surface of every Pious Person lays buried a Kinky Pervert, Stop bringing shovels, Where not digging!"-Azrael
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10-25-2009, 10:55 AM
Post: #10
RE: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
(07-03-2009 04:25 AM)Holy Babylon Wrote:  I have a funny story about candles in a Catholic Church. It was the Easter Vigil when I was getting First Communion and Confirmation. It was also the first Easter Vigil in a brand new church. Well anyways, we don't know where to put our candles when we extinguish them, so our priest says, "Put them in the little candle holders in your pews." I looked down and what I saw were not candle holders; they were the Protestant grape juice cup holders. I mean, we have candles in a brand new church that has Protestant cup holders. Am I right? Am I right? Man, I am so funny.

Maybe the church converted.
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