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How to get to heaven when you die
04-11-2010, 03:21 PM
Post: #1
How to get to heaven when you die
http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showth...ght=heaven
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04-11-2010, 03:32 PM (This post was last modified: 04-11-2010 03:35 PM by TheJackel.)
Post: #2
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
fart really loud so GOD can hear you! Otherwise you just convert into energy to witch becomes apart of something else..Like dirt, color, zero base energy, life, or someone else's fart.
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04-11-2010, 04:06 PM
Post: #3
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
Jackel is clearly still referencing the Old Edition Fart Manual; that one is considered the metaphorical one. The literal version, the Latter Fart Manual, clearly states that to get Heaven you have to synchronize your gas patterns with God. Each evening at around 7:13pm, eat 13 lbs of broccoli, think really hard about methane, and let rip. Do this every day for the rest of your life and praise you, you will make it there.

We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake
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04-11-2010, 04:11 PM
Post: #4
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
(04-11-2010 04:06 PM)Secular Hobbit Wrote:  Jackel is clearly still referencing the Old Edition Fart Manual; that one is considered the metaphorical one. The literal version, the Latter Fart Manual, clearly states that to get Heaven you have to synchronize your gas patterns with God. Each evening at around 7:13pm, eat 13 lbs of broccoli, think really hard about methane, and let rip. Do this every day for the rest of your life and praise you, you will make it there.

Damn you revisionists! Musical fartchestra is boring! God loves Hard fart Rock! If it hurts, TOO BAD! No pain no gain of entry!
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04-12-2010, 09:02 AM
Post: #5
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
That will be enough too

????????????????
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05-20-2010, 01:18 AM (This post was last modified: 05-20-2010 01:19 AM by prdamico.)
Post: #6
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
(04-11-2010 03:21 PM)god1 Wrote:  http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showth...ght=heaven

THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A SINNER AND IN NEED OF A SAVIOR:

Ro 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

This all began with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. God created them perfect, there was no death or sorrow. God told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed God and as a result, sin entered into the world. The pain which this world sees is the result of sin.

( THE ABOVE CONTENT FROM LINK FROM GOD1 )


APPARENTLY YOU NEVER READ ANCIENT SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGIES

http://www.religionforums.org/thread-268...l#pid30230

http://www.religionforums.org/thread-268...l#pid30258

:-)
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06-03-2010, 07:52 AM
Post: #7
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
Hello,

I saw the link and as for your question i think no one know that where he/she go after death heaven or hell even we don't know actually that we go to heaven or hell after death.

thanks!!

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06-03-2010, 11:01 PM
Post: #8
RE: How to get to heaven when you die
(06-03-2010 07:52 AM)usherr Wrote:  Hello,

I saw the link and as for your question i think no one know that where he/she go after death heaven or hell even we don't know actually that we go to heaven or hell after death.

thanks!!

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that was kind of the purpose of the Fart sarcasm.. Hence, I would love to see this person who posted this thread verify this process he claims and then validate it.. It's all nonsensical play on peoples fear of death to get them to conform to his religious dogma.. It's essentially a load of crap being gassed out in particle dispersion.
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