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President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
01-23-2010, 02:57 PM (This post was last modified: 01-23-2010 03:52 PM by Ahmadi.)
Post: #1
President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
President Thomas Jefferson came to me a short while ago and he said, "Ahmadi, my son! I want you to represent me in this forum." I was pleased and at the same time bewildered to see him and I asked him respectfully, "My dear President, you have been my hero for some time, but, how can I represent you here." He said, "I have seen some of your posts here, and I like your ideas, you are doing good work." He added, "I want you to talk about my Bible and my religious views." I complained to him that some of my critics here are being almost abusive. He said not to worry about them and that he had known worse hooligans, in his own time.

Before he left, he added that he will put in good word for me, with Barack, Hilary and Jimmy. He said that he was most proud of Jimmy's work, almost envious. In the end he said that he will pray to God the Father that He grant Jimmy several more years of productive life!

Then he sneaked out through the ceiling without leaving any trace!

I am second coming of Thomas Paine. If you are a Christian, have you read Age of Reason?
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01-23-2010, 05:43 PM (This post was last modified: 01-23-2010 10:21 PM by Ahmadi.)
Post: #2
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
Oh he came back.

He said what is with people that they do not read my Bible enough. He said that he wants people to read the Quran also and added that he read his Quran many times and that is how he got his Bible. He made his Bible in line with the Quran. I was impressed by his openness and tolerance to Islam. He said he got a lot of ideas from the Quran. I asked him which ones? He said not now!

I asked him what translation to suggest to the fellow Christians. He said, I trust you, be my guest!

The Quran: The Eternal Revelation Vouchsafed to Muhammad the Seal of the Prophets (Paperback)
Muhammad Zafrulla Khan (Translator) "In the name of Allah, Most Gracious.

It is available on Amazon.

I am second coming of Thomas Paine. If you are a Christian, have you read Age of Reason?
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01-24-2010, 03:45 AM
Post: #3
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
I call troll.

Reason, science, knowledge.
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01-24-2010, 09:01 AM (This post was last modified: 01-24-2010 09:02 AM by Ahmadi.)
Post: #4
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
Last night the President came in my dream and he said, "When I wrote, 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,' I meant to include, all women, all blacks, all people of different faiths and races all over the world.” But that would have taken a paragraph and the hooligans would have torn it apart. He said that he liked my mention of Homo sapiens in my signature.

He asked me if I had noticed that references to the Trinity and the divinity of Jesus are notably absent from his Jefferson Bible. The Bible begins with an account of Jesus’ birth without references to angels, genealogy, or prophecy. The work ends with the words: “Now, in the place where he was crucified, there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulcher, wherein was never man yet laid. There laid they Jesus. And rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulcher, and departed. There is no mention of the resurrection.

He pulled the copy of Jefferson Bible lying in my book shelf and put it on my night stand. He said, 'Ahmadi, my son, you can easily re-type the ending in the morning,' and then he left. I wanted to do exactly as he told me for I love him like my adopted father. So, here is the ending from the Jefferson Bible:

Now, in the place where he was crucified, there
was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre,
wherein was never man yet laid. (J.19/41)
There laid they Jesus.
And rolled a great stone to the door of the
sepulchre, and departed. (Mt.27/60)

I am second coming of Thomas Paine. If you are a Christian, have you read Age of Reason?
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01-25-2010, 06:38 AM
Post: #5
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
This time he appeared in broad day light. He was carrying a model of a building that looked like a Church, Synagogue, Mosque and a Casino all combined.

He said that they should build it in the parking lot of the Capitol Building. They should connect it with a bridgge with the Capitol Building that should be missing in the middle third, to symbollize, separation of Church and State. He said that the politicians can show off, their religiosity by going to Mosque on Friday, Synagogue on Saturday and Church on Sunday. They could go to the Casino on the other weekdays to show their committment to agnostics, but he quickly added that the Casino idea needs some further work.

He said that then the Christian fundamentalists can put their ten commandments in the Church there and Muslims could put their copies of the Quran. He said that he will not have any problem having his copy of the Quran in the library of congress, moved into the mosque there.

I asked him if this will bring the nation together. He said yes, especially if Barack comes out of the hiding and declares he has always been a Muslim and for political expediency he had started going to a Church. Now he can go to this Combo-Mega-House of God!

I am second coming of Thomas Paine. If you are a Christian, have you read Age of Reason?
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01-30-2010, 07:12 AM
Post: #6
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
In a letter to Adams written from Monticello, October 12, 1813, Jefferson gives a description of his Bible as follows: "We must reduce our volume to the simple Evangelists, select, even from them, the very words only of Jesus, paring off the amphiboligisms into which they have been led, by forgetting often, or not understanding, what had fallen from him, by giving their own misconceptions as his dicta, and expressing unintelligibly for others what they had not understood themselves. There will be found remaining the most sublime and benevolent code of morals which has ever been offered to man. I have performed this operation for my own use, by cutting verse by verse out of the printed book, and arranging the matter which is evidently his and which is as easily distinguished as diamonds in a dung-hill."

I am second coming of Thomas Paine. If you are a Christian, have you read Age of Reason?
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01-30-2010, 08:51 PM
Post: #7
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
(01-30-2010 07:12 AM)Ahmadi Wrote:  In a letter to Adams written from Monticello, October 12, 1813, Jefferson gives a description of his Bible as follows: "We must reduce our volume to the simple Evangelists, select, even from them, the very words only of Jesus, paring off the amphiboligisms into which they have been led, by forgetting often, or not understanding, what had fallen from him, by giving their own misconceptions as his dicta, and expressing unintelligibly for others what they had not understood themselves. There will be found remaining the most sublime and benevolent code of morals which has ever been offered to man. I have performed this operation for my own use, by cutting verse by verse out of the printed book, and arranging the matter which is evidently his and which is as easily distinguished as diamonds in a dung-hill."

Quote:Of all the systems of morality, ancient or modern, which have come under my observation, none appear to me so pure as that of Jesus. He who follows this steadily need not, I think, be uneasy, although he cannot comprehend the subtleties and mysteries erected on his doctrines by those who, calling themselves his special followers and favorites, would make him come into the world to lay snares for all understandings but theirs. These metaphysical heads, usurping the judgment seat of God, denounce as his enemies all who cannot perceive the Geometrical logic of Euclid in the demonstrations of St Athanasius, that three are one, and one is three; and yet that the one is not three nor the three one.
-- Thomas Jefferson, letter to William Canby (September 18, 1813)
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01-31-2010, 09:09 AM (This post was last modified: 01-31-2010 09:14 AM by Ahmadi.)
Post: #8
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
President came to me this morning. He said Parousia is a good guy. He has kept the forum in order. Tell him my ideas about Deism so he can move from agnosticism in the right direction.

‘It was impossible’, Jefferson wrote to John Adams, ‘for the human mind not to perceive and feel a conviction of design, consummate skill, and indefinite power in every atom of its composition.’ This was the case whether one contemplated the heavens above (‘the movement of the heavenly bodies, so exactly held in their course by the balance of centrifugal and centripetal forces’) or the earth below (‘the structure of our earth itself, with its distribution of lands, waters, and atmosphere, animal and vegetable bodies … insects as mere atoms of life, yet as perfectly organised as man or mammoth).'

Edwin Gaustad. Sworn on the Altar of God: A religious biography of Thomas Jefferson. William B Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1996, p.36.

I am second coming of Thomas Paine. If you are a Christian, have you read Age of Reason?
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01-31-2010, 10:28 AM
Post: #9
RE: President Thomas Jefferson wants me to be his ambassador
(01-31-2010 09:09 AM)Ahmadi Wrote:  President came to me this morning. He said Parousia is a good guy. He has kept the forum in order. Tell him my ideas about Deism so he can move from agnosticism in the right direction.

But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782

Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because if there be one he must approve of the homage of reason more than that of blindfolded fear.
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Peter Carr, August 10, 1787

I am of a sect by myself, as far as I know.
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Ezra Stiles Ely, June 25, 1819

To talk of immaterial existences is to talk of nothings. To say that the human soul, angels, god, are immaterial, is to say they are nothings, or that there is no god, no angels, no soul. I cannot reason otherwise: but I believe I am supported in my creed of materialism by Locke, Tracy, and Stewart. At what age of the Christian church this heresy of immaterialism, this masked atheism, crept in, I do not know. But heresy it certainly is.
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to John Adams, Aug. 15, 1820
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