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Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
05-03-2010, 08:32 AM (This post was last modified: 05-03-2010 09:14 AM by StarStuff.)
Post: #1
Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
Ok, so we have two characters named Rod and Stan.

Rod is a jealous type: he likes to be the center of attention. He's a bit insecure, and so likes to surround himself with people he knows will praise everything he does, and lashes out at anybody who disagrees with him.

Stan is a bit more laid back. He's perhaps a bit mischievous, but mainly he likes to have fun. He's an adventurer, of sorts.

Oh, yes, and these two are both divine beings, who live together as roommates in a house in the sky.

So anyway, Rod creates a world, and within that world he creates a species of dumb cow-like creatures called the Urk to do his bidding. Stan thinks these Urk have interesting potential, but he sees how they are slaves to Rod's will. Stan decides to have a bit of fun and screw with Rod's head by giving the Urk more intelligence than Rod ever intended. Rod is furious to find that the Urk now have the ability to think thoughts he didn't put in their heads, and even the ability to question Rod. Rod goes into a rage, kicks Stan out of the house in the sky, and being unable to reverse the changes Stan made, Rod punishes the Urk as well.

Anyway, a couple centuries pass, and the Urk are thriving. Rod and Stan have continued to have their squabbles, and occasionally Rod goes into a rage and, being unable to kill Stan, blows off some steam by killing a bunch of Urk (usually whichever ones happen to be least worshipful of him).

Stan likes to see the Urk have fun, and likes to see them happy. He can see that they aren't getting much joy out of spending all their time building monuments to Rod, so he (under the radar of course) teaches them a few games, teaches them to dance, teaches them a number of other things that the Urk learn to have a lot of fun with. Over time, the Urk drift away from Rod, focusing more on their own lives, their own activities, and their own enjoyment than on monuments and ceremonies to honor Rod ('cause let's be honest, Rod's kind of an [censored]).

Rod does not like this. Not one bit. So he takes a kitchen knife... wait, sorry, wrong story.

So Rod, hating the fact that the Urk's lives no longer revolve around him, chooses the two Urk most worshipful of him among those remaining on the planet, and completely wipes out the rest of the species (and several other species along with them, just 'cause he was feeling pissy at the time).

Stan is horrorstruck, and renews his vow to spend all eternity acting as a thorn in Rod's side, eternally searching for ways to thwart Rod's plans.

Against all odds, the Urk manage to come back from near-extinction. The next several thousand years are a constant struggle between Rod (who does everything he can to see to it that the Urk's lives revolve around worshiping him and avoiding anything that may be enjoyable enough to distract them from their devotion) and Stan (who does the exact opposite).

I have to leave, so I'll be finishing this story up later, but I'd love to hear what you all think of the story so far.
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05-03-2010, 12:04 PM (This post was last modified: 05-03-2010 12:08 PM by StarStuff.)
Post: #2
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
Ok, so the next part of the story. Once again, the Urk are drifting away from their devotion to Rod. However, Rod has learned from the past that simply killing everybody who doesn't love him enough is not a permanent solution (he may be an [censored], but he isn't stupid). He decides that the best way to get the Urk to return to their devotion to him is to have one of the Urk go around telling everybody how great he is -- and back these statements up with a few miracles to make this messenger seem more impressive to the other Urk. So Rod rapes a female Urk, and sends the resulting offspring (who we'll call Carl) out to sing Rod's praise to all the other Urk. But, for reasons unknown, Rod really wasn't all that kind to Carl either.

For example, at one point Rod sends Carl out into the desert and tells him not to eat or drink anything for a month. When Stan sees this, he goes out to talk to Carl in hopes of talking him out of such unnecessary self-torture. Stan offers Carl some food, but Carl refuses it. Stan, his heart broken in sympathy for poor Carl, leaves in abject defeat.

Fast forward a few years. Carl's life has been selflessly devoted to Rod, but all he has to show for is a life utterly devoid of any real enjoyment or fulfillment. At this point, Rod decides he no longer has any use for Carl, so he has Carl tortured to death.

And that's the whole story so far. What do you think? Rod seems like a pretty cool dude, doesn't he?
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05-03-2010, 12:17 PM
Post: #3
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
hahahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa hahahahahahahahah
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05-03-2010, 01:09 PM (This post was last modified: 05-03-2010 01:10 PM by StarStuff.)
Post: #4
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
I suppose I could fill in some of the other details with more anecdotes about things taking place in the intervening years.

Like that time when a tribe of Urk escaped from slavery and Rod gave them a restrictive set of rules and, just for [censored] and giggles, made them wander the desert for 40 years before settling down.

Or that other time a group of Urk decided to build a really tall tower, and Rod, not liking to have the Urk that close to him, made them unable to communicate with each other -- causing thousands of wars over the next several millenia.

Or that time a group of Urk slaughtered that other group of Urk because they worshipped Rod in a slightly different manner. Come to think of it, that actually happened a bunch of times.
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05-04-2010, 01:40 AM
Post: #5
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
(05-03-2010 01:09 PM)Geoffrey Taucer Wrote:  I suppose I could fill in some of the other details with more anecdotes about things taking place in the intervening years.

This is good. I can see a Big Lebowski kind of guy as Stan.
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05-04-2010, 02:36 AM
Post: #6
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
I think you need mice or dolphins or both Smile

????????????????
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05-04-2010, 03:18 AM
Post: #7
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
You know what this needs? Better names for the characters. "Rod" and "Stan" sound so insignificant.

So how about...
-Let's change Rod's name to "God"
-Let's change Stan's name to "Satan"
-Let's call the Urks "Humans"
-Let's change Carl's name to "Jesus"
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05-04-2010, 03:30 AM
Post: #8
RE: Rod & Stan: a divine comedy
where are the mice and dolphins?

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